The Universe vs. I. Intern

The Infirm Intern's latest status update on Facebook is, well, typical:
knee is still throbbing today, and is very frustrated with Sallie Mae!! They r like ruthless loan sharks trying to suck money out of me that I do not have and threatening me if I don't pay!! They don't care that I have been out of work for 6 months and am broker than broke!!!
Whoa, hold on there: wasn't it just this March—four and a half months ago—that she began her lucrative multi-level marketing career? She ought to be financially independent by now, with a can't-miss opportunity like that.

Paradoxically, one can construe Alissa's relationship with the universe as a strong argument in favor of the existence of God. You've probably have known someone in a relationship in which Partner 1 is trying to break it off with Partner 2, but the more desperately Partner 1 tries to escape, the more tightly Partner 2 clings. Now put God and Alissa in the rôles of 1 and 2, respectively. Doesn't it seem like God is dropping a series of increasingly unsubtle hints that S/He'd rather not take credit for Alissa's pathological worldview? Alissa doesn't realize it, but her best course of action is to become an atheist. Then God would at least treat her with indifference.

As an aside, I wish I could always call 'em this accurately (from the same post in March):
My guesses: Amway distributor or Mary Kay Cosmetics rep (like Shelley Lynn!!). Prognosis: complete failure within one month.
But then again, the universe is nowhere nearly as predictable as the Infirm Intern.
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  • ejwise


Well, dearest Shelley and Co. are back to their ole tricks and treats this Halloween season. Last night she posted:

phyllis made dinner...

[Pork ribs, anyone? Oh, and don't forget that kegger in the bathtub.]

we both helped with my ghost outfit for tomorrow...

[How many king-sized bedsheets did that take? Two, three, or...? My mind reels just thinking of all that linen wasted.]

we are trying to stay up.. but it has been hard..

[Wait, isn't everything hard for poor Shelley? Jeesh.]


[Shouldn't that read "similes"?]

Anyhow, Terri and I talked the other day about dressing up as Shelley (her) and Phyllis (me) for next year's All Hallow's Eve. Now that would be scary indeed! :O
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  • ejwise

Queen of Procrastination

Today our beloved Rentonian notes: 

Oops.. called the gyn to see what my last appt was.. They said it has
been over 2 yrs.. so I made an appt for Friday at 1:45 in downtown

So I then called my GI doctor since I am out of meds.. and got an apt
for Oct 3rd to get my IBS meds... and she is in downtown Seattle...

She hasn't a clue as to when she was in to see her gynecologist last? What is she, stupid? (Rhetorical question there, folks.)

Secondly, if you're on meds it behooves you to be aware of when your supply is getting low so that you can order up some more. With this kind of mismanagement of her life, I wonder if she's ever turned in her IRS tax forms in on time? (I suggest she's one of the lazy few that don't even bother to get an extension. But, hey, that's just me being mean-spirited about a very real problem that she consistently has.)

Can't wait to see what drivel she posts the rest of this week.

similes..,cuddfles..any won OUT theyre..